Happy relationships are not void of little issues. Discussing issues in your relationship helps bring you closer and gives you a better understanding of your partner. Staying in or maintaining a relationship requires conscious efforts. Topics spring up when you are together but it is essential to talk about the right things once in a while.
The right topics are crucial to be assured that you are not wasting your time in that relationship or both of you cannot flow together. So many topics come to mind and need to be discussed. While we have 10 topics here, remember that some topics outside this list need a special approach so as not to ruin or end your relationship.
- What you have in common. To be drawn together means you have some things in common. Finding what you have in common goes a long way in drawing you both closer. This can be in habit, likes, dislikes, movies, or food. Similarities keep you on the same page and it makes you feel comfortable around each other. You will likely feel a strong connection and satisfaction when you do those things together.
- What you like about each other. Making each other feel good is quite important. It makes one feel someone admires a quality in them. This can be what got you attracted when you first met. It could turn out making you have a good laugh. Tell each other what you liked and what you like, if there has been an improvement or any other quality you got to see later. It causes the other person to retain such quality and strive to be a better person.
- Each other’s goals and visions. This becomes very important if you wish to take the relationship to the altar of ‘forever’ togetherness. These can be career goals, health goals and/or personal goals. When your goals and visions do not align, (they must not be the same like in careers) it becomes expedient to discuss how your goals can work and exist together. This prevents any futuristic surprises and issues that may arise.
- Deepest fears. Discussing your deepest fears can make you vulnerable. While discussing this topic is relevant, be sure of your partner before going ahead with it. Ensure your partner shares to some degree the same affection. Discussing your deepest fears makes you feel the responsibility of guarding each other’s heart. It creates a sense of deep intimacy, letting each other into your secret box.
- Beliefs and Spirituality. As spiritual as it may sound, it should not be taken for granted. This factor goes a long way to say how you want your kids to be raised (should the relationship graduate to tying the knots). To a reasonable degree, one’s belief and spirituality determine their perspective and response to their environment.
- Views on Romance and Marriage. A relationship entails a lot and romance is certainly one of it. A partner feels disconnected when romance is absent. One of the many issues affecting relationships is the “No Sex Till Marriage” topic between partners. It is crucial to iron out such topics and know each other’s opinions. Talking about the future with kids in the picture is not a bad idea. A stronger connection is established when you know you are with someone who has a dream of building a good home. Without necessarily discussing marriage, you tend to work together towards building the future you both discussed.
- Your shortcomings. Always remember that no one is perfect. Talking to each other about the other side which is not so nice, prepares you ahead of time. In course of getting intimate, a level of comfort is reached and everyone begins to be their true self. At such point, no pretense exists and you act like you should. In such a situation, the other person has an idea of that part of you and is patient or can react appropriately. It can be poor anger management, or poor cooking skills.
- Your love language. Understanding each other’s love language goes a long way in keeping the fire burning. Love languages can be gifts, surprises, food, physical touches, sweet words, or poems. Bringing them up once in a short while makes the other person know that he/she is thought of. Love language can be used to appreciate each other and a deeper connection is created. It also makes people feel safe.
- Your Past. Not discussing the past has broken many relationships. This prevents any surprises and can cause your partner to defend and support you when someone or an issue from the past arises. Apart from avoiding an ugly scene from to past to show up, it also helps to make both parties be careful not to repeat an ugly incident.
- Communication Plan. This should not be on the list you must say. Who does not know that keeping the communication line is important? This topic becomes a part of the list when one person’s schedule is a bit tighter than the other. It does not mean that communication has a calendar. It means that you understand the nature of your jobs and daily routines. This only calls for a sacrifice to keep the line open, and a conscious effort to reach out despite the tight schedule.